Me: ugh ive got a sore leg i better google whats wrong
Google: Brain tumour with a life expectancy of 2 weeks good luck

seriousjones:

mom: you haven’t been drinking in college, have you

me: oh don’t worry i’m stone cold sober

me:

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(via pizza)

elasticitymudflap:

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oh yeah mister krabs

Who knew he was into Bondage

(via phobias)

bird: chirps
me: wtf what tab is that coming from